still not sleeping

Today is a really bad one. I thought maybe the Lyrica would help me at least a little. I'm not sure what to think now. I take only one at night because if I take 2 I cannot do much at all during the day. I am too sleepy. Taking just one doesn't seem to make me tired enough to get enough sleep either. I am so exhausted all the time. I use to have so much energy many years back.

I feel like I'm not worth anything because I can't get out to work. I have lost income for almost 2 years now because of my pain and lack of sleep. I cannot stand for long periods so retail work is out for me. I tried working even as a cashier at 2 different companies last year Mar. 2007 and had to quit both of them within 2 days because I could not take the severe pain of standing after even a half hour.

I can't find any kind of legitimate work at home job either. All of them want you to pay them for information. I can't sit for long periods either so even working at home would have to be limited to only a few hours. I can't find any company that needs that little help. I cry a lot because I can't find any kind of work that won't bear so much pain on me also trying to stay awake while working is a real challenge now.

I have to take daytime naps often because of lack of sleep at night. I toss and turn about every 15 mins or so all night long.

Lack of part time income for me is not letting us get our credit card paid off like we'd like to either. With my husbands income we are making our bills but we cannot save for our future or even give Christmas gifts to some of the family like we'd like to.
I've worked all my life since I was 18 and now I feel like a failure as I cannot even work even a little to bring in some type of income.

I may have to try for SSDI . I was thinking about if for some time now but keep hesitating because I feel like I'm asking for a hand out and that certainly is not the case. I have found a website called Allsup.com that I may use. I found their link from FMAware.org. I don't want a handout but we do need my income back.

Until next time,
Have a Wonderful Week!
Nancy